If You're Tired of Starting over...

This is really speaking to me today.

I'm not sure why but my body has become so tired of late. Yesterday I got up an hour early so that I could workout before going to work at Olive Garden. 6 Mins on the treadmill and my legs felt so heavy I knew it would do me no good to try and run, I was exhausted! I went to work with the intention of running when I got home. But I was STARVING! So when I got home, I ate a few chips to quickly kick the hunger pains and went about my day.. but it didn't stop there. I was in a snacking mode, even after over snacking- being so full I can't even remember the last time I was that full, I kept eating. When dinner came and I woke up from my nap I could barely get the 2 corn on the cobs down before I felt like I was going to be sick. I had over eaten. WAY over eaten. I was to full, to tired and to sick to even consider running at that point.

I tried going to bed early, around 7:30 pm, I was so tired I could have gone to be early, but no matter how tired I was, how heavy my eye lids became, I couldn't sleep. So instead I open Kindle on my Iphone and start to read Fifty Shades Free (yes and the books are AMAZING!) At around 9:30 I finally can get to sleep.

This morning was torture. No matter that I wasn't comfortable in bed I was exhausted and couldn't wake up. Finally getting up late I quickly shower, get ready and rush to make my lunch.

I know I'm tired but I don't know why. But I don't want to give up, or "take a break" b/c I'm tired. But in all honesty I'm so tired of starting over!! I have not completed anything real substantial since... ever and I'm tired of telling myself I'm not strong enough, smart enough, skinny enough... pretty enough. It stops now. I am strong enough and everything else. I have started this journey and I will not strop until I have completed my goals. I have a half marathon in less than 7 months and I am so excited, its really what pushes me forward. I finally understand what everyone means when they say to give yourself a race, goal to look forward to, otherwise you might burn-out and stop. I will not stop, bc I'm tired of giving up and starting over.

I have been weak by not pushing myself farther than 1 mile here lately. 1.5 being my longest. I am strong than that! I will go home tonight, forget the time on the treadmill, forget the tiredness of my body, I will run 2 miles today and every other day I will increase by .5 miles. On my long days I will increase by 1 mile. And then repeat. I can do this bc I am strong. I am not weak. I am strong!!